My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
