Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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