I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
