I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
