I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
