We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
