Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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