I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
