just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
