Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize