I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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