You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
PANTIES FOUND
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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