I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
