I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
