I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
