It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
