I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
