reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
