There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
