And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
