i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
