She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
