I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
