Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
