Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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