i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
