mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
