nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
