we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
