just tell him i said nine months
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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