Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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