If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My ass is underappreciated
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
