Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
