I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
