Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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