I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How naked do you want me to be?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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