she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
