Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
