Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
