never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
