Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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