i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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