She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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