I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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