Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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