I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
