Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
