STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
