My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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