we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
