he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
