dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He did a backflip because drugs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
