I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
