He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
