i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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