can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
