I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
