p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
