Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
