If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
