I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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