who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
