She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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