I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
