i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
