If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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