Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
