YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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